Reflect or Regret? Part 4-Dating Post Divorce


As a silver-haired person, I retain the privileges of Reflection or Regrets. I’ve earned this right through years of trials, temptations, and choices. My journal excerpt—Reflect on Dating.

Being single again is scary, but the dating game was terrifying.

During the twenty-five years of my first marriage the world evolved with Social Media and online dating—I avoided both at first.

People from earlier eras preferred meetings in person, not communicating from a distance. Just like job searches, we walked into stores and requested applications, and obtained one-on-one interviews. The drawback of dating this way is the burden of time constraints.

Even though online dating is a fast track and enlarges the pool of possible dates, it was less comfortable and personable, so that option never appealed to me.

I eventually learned to attend a movie alone, dinner alone, and went camping alone. “Alone” was no longer a horrible feeling, it was liberating. I finally remembered who I was before marriage. I decided my likes and dislikes, my life purposes, and my interests, with no one influencing my choices.

As trust grew in my judgement regarding others, I searched for groups to join—a hiking group, a kayaking group, and a large Single’s group. The thing about groups is the safety in numbers. Others may see a red flag in someone’s behavior that we miss=safety.

My newly single friends and I watched out for each other through the dating process. We learned that we are often attracted to the same personality that we just divorced. Nope, get healthy first, then we can make better choices. One option I enjoyed for self-care was Divorce Care.

Don’t be afraid of change—be liberated for a new and improved future!



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